One half.

Well, my plan was to be more on top of things this year, and while I mostly am, I definitely neglected to recognize that half of this year is already down! My goal when I even began this blog was to chart my personal successes and attempts at living a happier, healthier, more fulfilled life. I promised to do one big thing a month that was just for me. In April, I recapped the first three months of the year and how it had been going so far. My plan was to do quarterly blog check-ins. Aaaaand here we are now, almost through July before I realized I had dropped the ball on my second check-in. Oh well, better late than never!


April was a really good month for me, creatively, personally, athletically, and professionally. The month began with me helping my old friend Theo out and shooting a short film with him. Theo is an amazing artist, and I was so excited to get to contribute a little bit to his work! We filmed over the course of one Thursday evening, and it was so fun to flex my acting muscles, particularly in film, where I have less experience. We created a really fun, creepy, exciting little piece, and I was really proud of it!

April also included a lot of time with two of my favorite people, Tom and Serena. These two attended a fundraiser for my school’s 8th graders to get to go on a graduation trip, something that would have been impossible without the generosity of strangers. The fundraiser was a huge success, and contributions from Tom, Serena, my friend Brett, my mom, Kurt, my coworkers and their friends and families ensured that the entire 8th grade class got to go to St. Louis. It was a really momentous occasion for my school, which is in no position to financially aid these students and their families on its own.

Tom and Serena also became our travel partners in April. First, we went to Milwaukee for a weekend. Kurt and I had tickets to see Jack White at The Rave/Eagles Club, and The Blondes decided to tag along. Here is a really cool pic I got of the Jack White show:








Oh. That’s right. Jack White does this thing where upon entering the venue, your phone gets locked inside a little pouch that cannot be opened until the end of his set. While this at first promoted a little bit of anxiety (like when I had to pee and had no clue where Kurt was when I re-entered the crowd), it was honestly such a cool little touch. Kurt and I could focus on the music and actually experience a live show without watching it through everyone else’s phone screens. Great concert, and he even came back for an unscheduled encore simply due to the Milwaukee crowd’s crazy demands.

Milwaukee is a great city, and I always enjoy it there. Serena and I had to fit in a training run on that Saturday morning, and we did a cool 5 miles along the lake front and through downtown, ending at Harp for Bloody Mary’s. The folks in Milwaukee are absolute party animals – every time I am in that city, I see a whole new form of drunkenness. However, spending Saturday afternoon and evening bar hopping, asking Random Questions, eating some of the greatest tacos ever, and just being with friends in such a laid back town was well worth the short trip up there.

Closing out April was the half marathon in Louisville. Kurt, Tom, Serena, and I drove down for a weekend trip, and Serena and I ran the Kentucky Derby Festival Half Marathon. My feelings and experiences of that weekend are laid out pretty extensively in my blog post about it, but finishing that race was a huge feat for me and was a very emotional victory. After my accident in February, I honestly thought my active lifestyle may have to change, and that’s not something I ever even want to consider. While I am still dealing with some residual pain and stiffness from my fall, and reconsidering new forms of treatment, I hold dearly to the fact that I finished that race in April. Be it from sheer will, or the kind and supportive nature of someone like Serena keeping me going, that race was a huge celebration for me, and I can safely say, will be one of the highlights of this year.


Ohhhhh highlights of the year…what about highlights of my LIFE? May brought about what will forever be one of the best evenings I’ve ever experienced: the night Kurt asked me to marry him. Again, I blogged all about this, but let me just say – I am so happily giddy about being engaged to Kurt that I don’t think I will ever come down off this high. Planning our wedding is so exciting, and I am so looking forward to sharing that day with the people we love. I love this man with all my heart, and the idea that I am sharing my life with him forever just makes me so beyond happy.

Okay, gushy gushy. May also included the end of my Chicago Run coaching season and year, which could potentially be my last due to some other professional promotions that will be taking up my after school time. I love that crazy team, and have loved getting closer to the middle schoolers, whom I really do not have much exposure to. Additionally, we had yet another successful school field trip to Maggie Daley Park, which is so good for our kids. My students often cannot play outside due to the crime in their neighborhood, and rarely get to see downtown Chicago at all, and so bringing them to a place where they can safely be kids without anxiety or fear of their surroundings is not something to be taken for granted. I am so thankful for our school and the administrators who recognize what our kiddos truly need: to feel young, playful, and innocent.


June was an awesome month. It just was. Everything went really well and I had so many fun, good experiences. June began with my show opening, and I cannot even express what a blast I had performing with Chicago Red Line. This group is full of fantastic, sweet people who have welcomed me and allowed me to grow and play as a performer. They met me with support from the beginning, and performing “You Can’t Sit With Us,” our musical parody of Mean Girls, was so fun. Being back on stage, singing and dancing, was so empowering for me, and so much more full of heart than any of the last times I performed. I needed the hiatus, I suppose, to reconnect to who I truly am as a performer outside of just boobs in a corset (the majority of the roles I landed).

Kurt and I went to Louisville to look at wedding venues, and SURPRISE! His mom and my mom schemed up an in-law meeting without telling us. They knew we would have been nervous wrecks, and so they cooked up a plan to have Kurt’s parents arrive a few hours before us. Imagine my surprise when we got into my parents’ house and Kurt’s parents were sitting on the back porch! In any case, we had an awesome weekend showing them around Louisville, and even booked our venue! I feel incredibly lucky that my family is so supportive, and that I am also marrying into a family that puts time with each other first.

June ended with Serena and I going back to Louisville to see Taylor Swift. Honestly, I was a pretty mild T. Swift fan before, and yet now find myself absolutely obsessed. Whatever she is selling, I am buying it. The Reputation Arena tour is absolutely spectacular, and I have never had so much fun at a show. Find a way to see this show and go. And you know what? I realized exactly why I like Taylor Swift so much. This is a girl who gets incessantly dumped on. Maybe she does bring it on herself, I don’t know, but it’s just always something for her – some drama, some pain, some bullshit. And I do believe she handles it as classily as she can in the public eye. I think she writes her pain and her frustrations but gets pigeonholed as the girl who writes songs about her exes. What about all the bops about crappy ex-friends, betrayal, misunderstanding situations, and being in love? She is a survivor, and a fighter, and I play right into her world-domination game, okay???

Oh, also I bought my wedding dress. It’s stunning and beautiful, and I love it, but we are still working on the whole “loving myself in it” thing. Man, 20+ years of body image issues does not make wedding dress shopping fun, but it’s all about remembering that it isn’t about the dress, or the hair, or the venue. It’s that I am marrying Kurt, and all the incredible people I love, the people who are making this year so very good, will be there celebrating with us.

This year is halfway over, and I am absolutely stoked to see what the next 6 (okay, 5, I am late posting this) months brings!


At some point within the last 24 hours, I began to consider myself a runner.

I think others have possibly considered me to be one prior to this time – my mom said recently she sees me as a natural runner and athlete. The thing is, though, it is a title I have not (and couldn’t) readily give myself. It could be my perpetual low self-esteem, the fact that I am a perfectionist, the fact that I know people who are actually professional runners, or just the fact that my frequency of training and racing has decreased over the past few years, but regardless the reason, “runner” is not exactly how I describe myself to people.

I have never run a full marathon. My speed isn’t anything to brag about. I don’t necessarily LOVE running every single day. But I DO do it. I lace up, I sweat, I push, I try to convince myself I’m not cramping up and my breathing will get more comfortable within the next mile. And though I could downplay it and act like I am perpetually terrible, the fact remains that my hard work and dedication to this mind-game sport that I love, hate, and love to hate, has paid off in improvement. Want to know a big reason why?

This Chick!

Let me tell you about a girl I know named Serena. She cool. Actually, she’s way more than that. She is incredibly loyal, enthusiastic, and empathetic. When I injured myself in February, the day before I was supposed to start training for a half marathon that I convinced her to run with me, she did not let me give up. Even before I got the actual diagnosis and recovery plan from my doctor, Serena was supportive. She was equal parts cheerleader and nurse: counting down the days until I could get back on my feet and start running and also violently demanding I do not cheat on my recovery plan and start trying to run just because my pain wasn’t excruciating. I took two very boring, very sedentary weeks off, and I got an update every day from her of how many more days until I could run again. Honestly, that unwavering belief in my recovery really aided me in believing in it myself.

And so we went to Louisville. I had trained as much as I could: Serena dragged my slow, corpse body all over Logan Square in one 10 mile run in the rain. In Milwaukee the weekend before the race, we crushed a 5 miler along the lakefront and River Walk. And come race day, I was nervous, but undeniably supported. I do not generally like running with people. I make some strange faces and noises and I really despise looking weak. And yet, having Serena run every step of the way with me, assuring me my pace wasn’t too slow, promising me we were almost done and there were beers at the finish line, allowing me a weak moment when I got a charlie horse in my calf from dehydration, allowed me to keep going, and ultimately pull of a PR on a half marathon.

This is the face of relief. I would have been fine being done about three miles earlier.

I have run seven half marathons now, and the only time I have even come close to this pace was when I was 23 and followed a professional training and diet plan to a T. I feel incredibly fortunate to have pulled off this time, injury or no. It is also just different. The last time I ran a half marathon, my house had burned down three weeks prior, and I was homeless, wearing borrowed shoes, and running with something to prove (survival?). The last time I ran the Derby Festival Mini, I was miserably stuck in a relationship, had no friends I was allowed to see, trusted no one, and was at odds with my family. I think I crossed the finish line and made me way through to the after party by myself. So, despite feeling terrible for the last third of the race this time, running with someone who supported me, meeting my amazing parents and the love of my life at the finish line, it just reemphasized what I have thought of so much lately:

I am so lucky and happily surrounded by good people at this time.

Not too shabby!

The best part of this PR? I was not all that sore after! I got an amazing bath and nap in, and managed to hit up the best parts of Louisville with my friends! We even went to the bar where my parents met: Gerstle’s. It was…it was a shit show. But we still had fun.

Not visible: the fact that Tom and Kurt are ghosts here.

And so, flash forward to the week after this momentous weekend for this “non”- runner: I got in three training runs and ran a 5k in Wrigleyville back here in Chicago. I learned some valuable tidbits at the Race to Wrigley:

1.) Courses with more turns are far more interesting and go by faster. This course was boring.

2.) Do NOT think that just because you ran a half marathon a week before that you can enjoy libations at the Derby party you chose to throw the night before. A mile and a half in, I had to wave Serena on so she didn’t see the unseeable: me tossing my cookies out on Irving Park. (I ended up only dry heaving…still embarrassing. How old am I? Be responsible, Julia.)

3.) If you are physically miserable, however, you WILL run faster to get it over with. And so, I finished with my best split miles ever recorded in a race, despite being a little, well, hungover.

Still had my cheerleader, despite my weak stomach and lack of willpower in the face of tequila.

And so, I guess I am a runner. And though it is a painful, exhausting, challenging sport, I love it. In fact, I love it more than ever. I don’t want to stop anytime soon.

One Fourth.

I am currently in shock that it is April. Not only just because we have an inch of snow on the ground and my teaching-stamina seems exceptionally low for having almost three more months of school, but also because so far, 2018 has flown by. To think we are already a quarter of the way through the year is just bonkers to me. It feels like time has sped up, and I am worried about all the things I am probably missing.

On Friday night, I stayed in, and in between eating Stromboli in bed and watching a Casey Anthony true crime documentary, I reflected on everything I have done so far this year. I started this blog in January and set out all these lofty goals about living a healthier, more fulfilled life, where my priority is me and my own self-care. Though it has not felt like it at times, and I’ve been downright cranky over some of the year’s setbacks, I realized that I have totally been keeping up with my goals this year so far. It feels really wonderful to sit down and think about everything that has happened so far this year. Let’s recap:


In January, I went to the Wisconsin Dells with Kurt’s family for a belated Christmas celebration. I am fairly obsessed with Kurt’s family: some of the nicest people I have ever encountered. It is also incredibly healing and reparative to spend time with his newest nephew, who was four months old at the time of the trip. Since the loss of my own nephew, I have been wary around babies. Yet, spending time with O has made me feel calmer, more comfortable, and more confident about the idea of babies again. It’s given me hope.

Now, Wisconsin Dells DID offer my own personal hell when I was weighed in a bathing suit in front of a line of people (including Kurt’s family). However, that instance also inspired me to change my eating habits and become healthier. Through that evil, evil water slide scale, I discovered Keto and am already down 8 pounds. So, yes. Water slide scales might be from the devil himself, but also inspired me.

Capping off January was my trip to Orlando with my best friend and his fiance. I cannot even begin to describe the joy I felt on this trip. I got to be a kid again, let my imagination explore, and just laugh with two wonderful people all weekend. Disney has upped its game, and the latest rides and attractions were so wonderful. We went to Universal Studios as well (Casey Anthony’s former employer…guys, that documentary was good…) and I had never visited that park before. I loved it, to put it simply, and want to spend way more time there next time I am in Orlando.

The family I have been babysitting for for 7 years or so happened to be in Orlando at the same time I was, and we got to meet up while at Universal Studios. The older boy just started reading Harry Potter, and I had been reading it out loud to both of the boys in the weeks leading up to the trip. It was incredibly special to share my love for the wizarding world with them, and also to experience the park with them for the first time. The older boy even went on his first roller coaster with me! I have a LOT of love for this family, and was so glad they got to be a part of my trip.

All in all, January was a pretty baller month.


February did not start off so great. I was very pumped at the start of the month. I was starting the Keto diet, had started taking Collagen Peptides for my skin, and was on the cusp of starting my half marathon training and rehearsals for The Chicago Red Line, a cabaret group I had been invited to join. Some new socks and a wooden staircase later, I ended up in the ER with a sprained back. I could not put any weight on my right side for almost four days, which led to Kurt dragging me around and waiting on me hand and foot.

It was frustrating as hell, but thank goodness I know so many kind people. Coworkers who drove me to school and offered to move my kids around the building. Friends who offered me kind words and kept me patient while I was laid out resting. Then I got impatient and started running again…which led to further injury. Mid-February found me with not only the sprained back, but also a sprained quad. This stress injury almost killed my spirit, as I then had doctor’s orders to take an additional two weeks off from any physical activity at all.

I am incredibly lucky to have such amazing people in my life who kept me going. Serena offered to run the half marathon with me no matter what pace I had to do it at. She sent me daily texts counting down how many more days til I could run again. My mom bolstered my confidence by saying she thinks of me as a runner, and knows I will succeed even without perfect training. Kurt packed me down with ice and heat every night, and took on all the household chores.

February could have been a total downer, but it just wasn’t. February proved to me how many incredible people I know, and how lucky I am for their support. Also, I finally did get to start rehearsals with Red Line, and it has been such a positive addition to my week. This group has invited me in with no questions asked, and is accepting of my quirks and talents. There is so much room for creativity and personality, and the show we are creating is the exact kind of artistic outlet I had been sorely missing over the past couple of years. It’s been truly an uplifting experience working with them.


March was an incredibly positive month. In March, I received clearance to run again once my quad sprain had properly healed. Despite the cold, it has been awesome running pain free. I have to make sure I take two days off between runs, and ice fairly regularly, but I seem to be (knock on wood) officially back on the mend. I am still doing physical therapy twice a week for my back, but it’s getting stronger and stronger!

The biggest event of March was getting Lasik done on my eyes. I have been legally blind since first or second grade, and had always assumed my astigmatism was so severe that my eyes were inoperable. Not so, said LasikPlus in Lincoln Park. Let me start by saying I was extremely nervous morning-of, and had zero sedatives. They did offer me Tylonel PM, which I took, but I was not NEARLY as relaxed as the guy in front of me who was high as a kite on Valium.

The procedure took less than 10 minutes (Kurt timed it) and then I was on my merry way. Though I did not feel any pain, the overall experience is a little alarming. You can feel pressure, there is a lot of noise, and it smells. There are a dozen people in the room, rushing about, muttering to each other, ushering you to different tables with different lasers, taking professional photos of you (??? see above), and it can feel overwhelming. An hour after we left, I wanted to be put out of my misery. My eyes burned so badly, and I couldn’t touch them or do anything to make myself comfortable. I mostly just cried until I eventually slept. Once I woke up though, I could see. I could just see. It’s pretty incredible.

“Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.” – Ralph Marston

So, the first quarter of the year is down, and I am feeling pretty accomplished. Obviously, I don’t always share the day to day on here, but let me just say, my job is still amazing. Spring Break was necessary, but I am feeling very positive about my kids and their growth right now. I love my school, and am just feeling like a strong team member right now at work.

I had a thought this morning: I have known some truly shitty people, and now I do not. And now, after a long reflection, allow me to add: I have known some truly shitty times, and now I do not. Things are just good right now. It frightens me to type that out, because historically, when things go well for me, they get taken away in some kind of large, traumatic fashion. However, living in fear of acknowledging what I have is disrespectful, for I want the world to know how thankful and content I am. So, with a deep exhale and crossed fingers, let me just say: 2018 is my year.


Well, I’m now a few weeks into my commitment to be healthier. I was not feeling great last weekend, when, at my routine annual, I had somehow gained two pounds.

I was also on my period. I’m thinking bloating is real and not all in my head, but am welcoming any concrete evidence anyone has on the matter.

As I have stated, I am by no means fat. The only time I could possibly be described as “chunky” was when I was a baby.

However, at my doctor’s office, they did give me my BMI, which was a true wake up call. I am only one number away from being medically classified as “overweight.” This leads me back to my health initiative.

This journey is not about me being stick-thin, but about me setting myself up for a healthy lifestyle as I age. I am an active, healthy 31-year-old woman. I refuse to fall under a category of medically overweight.

This week was wrought with some kind of flu or virus, and so I was highly inactive. The gym was swapped for long periods in bed and on the couch. I still attempted to eat, but take-out replaced home-cooking once or twice. I did my best, and continued to track my water and calorie intake.

Thursday morning, I weighed in and discovered I’ve lost four pounds. I don’t know if I should attribute this to illness, lack of alcohol consumption, loss of muscle, or my period ending, but it happened. And it was inspirational AF.

Per my last post, frustration comes from lack of seeing quick results. I am actively training my brain to understand that weight loss will not happen overnight. And it hasn’t. I’m on week 3 of really committing myself to change.

That four pounds made me feel incredible, and inspired me to keep working at this.

My Friday night was spent chugging water on my couch instead of beer at the brewery, and that was needed and felt completely okay. And tomorrow, my training schedule for my first half marathon this year begins. I am hoping to take all these positive changes, as well as the changes that occur when training, and keep that four pounds going.

I’d love to hear some comments from anyone who understands weight loss and can speak to the highs and lows of commitments such as mine.

Also, any runners out there – talk to me about your cross-training! I want to make sure I am really utilizing my two days of cross each week!